THE QUANTUM INTELLIGENCER

It is said that Lord V—n of the Quantum Estimative Society, whose recent seclusion at his moorland observatory had prompted speculation of a broken spirit, emerged with startling composure at the Villa Decoherence’s autumn symposium. The villa, recently acquired by the Society for Applied Rigour, has become the season’s most exclusive venue for those unafraid of non-commuting discourse. Society was much diverted when V—n demonstrated a technique requiring but O(d⁴/ε²) observations to discern a channel’s essence—a figure so lean, traditionalists gasped. The Countess H—l, long the arbiter of distinguishability standards, was seen murmuring fiercely with aides of the Diamond Circle. We are given to understand her camp favours adaptive rituals, far more costly in both time and instrumentation. Notably, the demonstration relied on purifying Choi states in parallel—an approach some call inelegant, even reckless. Yet the results, verified by the Royal Semidefinite Commission, were indisputable. Rumour now suggests a quiet understanding between House V—n and the young Isometry Set, long overlooked. As for the Countess? She has retired to her estate in Brighton, citing “atmospheric fatigue.” One wonders. —Ada H. Pemberley Dispatch from The Prepared E0