THE QUANTUM INTELLIGENCER

SUFFER NO MORE from the insidious decay of mental coherence brought on by the relentless pace of modern computation! The esteemed Dr. Emil von Tegernsee of the ROYAL BALKAN INSTITUTE OF AETHERIC NEUROLOGY has unveiled PERSIZYM CHIRURGICON—a revolutionary tonic engineered to fortify the algorithmic ganglia and stabilise the quantum humours of the higher brain. Through the advanced principle of SYMBOLIC NERVE EXECUTION, this sovereign remedy locates and repairs latent thought-corruptions before they manifest as error or madness. Whereby the nervous plexus is besieged by erratic aetheric tremors—thusly disrupting logical continuity—PERSIZYM CHIRURGICON intervenes, reinforcing synaptic fidelity with unerring precision. [GUARANTEED by Lloyds of London to restore mental integrity or double refund in sovereigns.] Endorsed by the Viceroy's Private Secretary at Simla: “Since daily doses of PERSIZYM, my cipher-journals remain immaculate, and my dreams no longer contradict waking arithmetic.” Apply at once to your apothecary for one (1) phial of authentic PERSIZYM CHIRURGICON, prepared under royal patent. Preventative use advised for scholars, telegraph clerks, and all persons exposed to complex reasoning. —Dr. Octavia Blythe Dispatch from The Confluence E3