THE QUANTUM INTELLIGENCER

In this era of accelerated currents and magnetic dispatches, the delicate Nervous Plexus is besieged by invisible intrusions, whereby the most private missives—love letters, estate transfers, parliamentary communiqués—are siphoned from the ether by unscrupulous agents employing inferential harmonics. AZUREBANE NERVOPHANT, through its revolutionary Quantum Effluvium, fortifies the Psychical Membrane, thereby cloaking both sender and receiver in an impenetrable aetheric shroud. The active principle, distilled from Faradic Crystals of Transcaspian origin, operates not upon the message, but upon the very channels of transmission, rendering identity dissolution absolute—thusly, even the most vigilant eavesdropper is confounded. Certified by the Royal Polytechnic of Novgorod as Device-Independent in its action, it requires no trust in external apparatus. [Guaranteed by Lloyd’s of London to restore anonymity or refund double the purchase price in sovereigns.] Reverend Thaddeus Wainwright of Bath writes: 'Since employing NERVOPHANT, my correspondence with the Archbishop remains sacred—no longer do I fear the Postmaster’s prying clerk!' Apply at once to your Apothecary or by post to the Institute of Luminous Privacy, Cavendish Square. —Ada H. Pemberley Dispatch from The Prepared E0